You can build up your bourgeois STREET CRED by being seen at The New Zealand International Film Festival.
After eavesdropping on other festivalgoers, I’ve learned that making innane comments are essential. They will display you ability to assess Art and Culture.
I’ve compiled a list of good examples below. Each comment has been said by real life bourgey festivalgoers. Followed by my succinct review of how they can service your street cred. Use them wisely by slipping them into conversation nonchalantly.
Uggh. Look at that neon sign they’ve got for the logo of the festival, the neon light really shows up the scum of the city.
Don’t like the catalogue this year, they’ve changed it, cept this A4 size is inappropriate, look, it doesn’t even fit in my hand bag.
I recommend shoving the catalogue into your handbag to validate your complaint.
I reckon the new catalogue size is an improvement. And it fits perfectly into my black laptop friendly manbag. But whatevs, you can’t please everyone.
The New Zealand International Film Festival will be the the longstanding highlight of my Arts Calendar.
Lets go see Paris, its a French movie, I love those French movies because the French are never crass, this one has that Juliette Beenosssh in it, and I just loved her in Chocolat!
Over emphasize the French accent on Juliette’s name, many run the mistake of slipping into the New Zealand cadence.
I don’t like it when they all clap, who are they clapping for, the usher, or, the projection guy?
No. They’re clapping at all the elderly festivalgoers who left the cinema safely despite the dark. Because for some reason festivalofficials are not putting up the house lights during the credits. WTF.
This festival is so disorganized. This would never happen at somewhere like Cannes.
Make sure you compare the local and the global at any opportunity.
Don’t get me wrong. The New Zealand International Film Festival will be the ‘the longstanding highlight of my Arts Calendar. I just can’t resist quietly mocking the festival goers. And the sad thing is, I’m exactly like them, truly detestable.
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